Self-help Books

I must confess...I'm a self-help book junkie. Sometimes, though, I don't make it all the way through them. One thing I need help with is following through.

However, the best of these books, the one which helped me the most, is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The one Agreement that really hits home is Don't Take Anything Personally. Believe me, this one is crucial if you're an actor. How many times have we heard, "Once you leave the audition, forget it." You never know why they opted for someone else. (Notice how positively I stated that? Not..."why you didn't get it.") Did I remind him of his ex-wife? Did they decide they wanted blue eyes instead of brown?

It's always about the other person. We have no control over that. You can only do your best. Which happens to be another of The Four Agreements. I'd recommend reading it...even if you're not an actor.

However, "Be careful about reading health books; you may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain

In memorium

Yesterday, I went to my friend Denise's mom's wake. It's always sad to me, even though we know, if you believe, that our departed loved ones are in a better place. It was a touching service for this wonderful woman.

I remember the first time I met Denise's mom whom I had heard so much about. Millie came to hear her daughter sing when we were doing a Cathy Segal-Garcia showcase at Ca' Del Sole in North Hollywood. Here we vocalists are with Cathy and the wonderful Tom Garvin on piano.

The strangest thing happened when I got up to sing...a great melancholy feeling came over me. I can't remember whether or not I was singing a particularly sad song...I doubt it, since I tend to lean toward more upbeat or hopeful romantic tunes.

In any event, it took me by surprise, and later I figured out what it was all about. How I would have loved to have had my mom there seeing me perform. There's nothing like that unconditional love and support that you get from the person who brought you into this world. Somehow, I've learned to envision my mom, who took me to all those dancing and piano lessons when I was young, and who passed away when I was 21, smiling down from heaven at any little thing I do that I know would make her proud.

By the way, Ca' Del Sole is where I learned to drink my favorite aperitif, Limoncello. Of course, I didn't try it until the gig was over! I'm going to toast this one to Millie. I'll miss her too.

Lessons from Solitaire

Do you play solitaire to pass the time, relax, enjoy the challenge, etc.? For a long time, I thought it was just a waste of time. Yes, I felt guilty if I knew I could be doing something more productive. Using it as a means of procrastination for cleaning my office was the main source of guilt. But, I started to see that there were lessons to be learned from playing solitaire.

For one, when I wasn't trying so hard to win, and just relaxing and sort of zoning out while I was playing seemed to be the times I won easily. Why is that? Is the universe telling me not to try to manipulate the outcome as much? When I let go, the results will come. But, you do have to be in the game.

There's another lesson I learned recently, and when I think of it, I'll post it! Excuse me while I go play now to remember it.

P. S. It worked...I remembered the other lesson! When playing Spider Solitaire, if I lose a game, I restart that game again and, yes, again, until I win it. Never give up! You'll eventually succeed.

Never stand on a swivel chair

Sounds like a no-brainer, doesn't it? But, it bears repeating..."Never, ever, for any reason, stand on a swivel chair. I have three chairs in my small home office. I thought it wouldn't hurt to stand on one to reach something in my closet. Well, it spun me around like a top and dumped me on the floor...but not before bumping my head on a metal filing cabinet as well as the wooden closet door...and left me dumbfounded. Dumb is the operative word here.

How could I have thought this was a good decision? The total loss-of-control terror was enough to make me learn this lesson. I was extremely lucky to have not gotten hurt worse. If this makes any one person reading this stop and think before they even consider doing this, it will be worth the time it took to write this. I have gone forth and sinned no more. Well, at least where chairs are concerned.