Self-help Books

I must confess...I'm a self-help book junkie. Sometimes, though, I don't make it all the way through them. One thing I need help with is following through.

However, the best of these books, the one which helped me the most, is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The one Agreement that really hits home is Don't Take Anything Personally. Believe me, this one is crucial if you're an actor. How many times have we heard, "Once you leave the audition, forget it." You never know why they opted for someone else. (Notice how positively I stated that? Not..."why you didn't get it.") Did I remind him of his ex-wife? Did they decide they wanted blue eyes instead of brown?

It's always about the other person. We have no control over that. You can only do your best. Which happens to be another of The Four Agreements. I'd recommend reading it...even if you're not an actor.

However, "Be careful about reading health books; you may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain

In memorium

Yesterday, I went to my friend Denise's mom's wake. It's always sad to me, even though we know, if you believe, that our departed loved ones are in a better place. It was a touching service for this wonderful woman.

I remember the first time I met Denise's mom whom I had heard so much about. Millie came to hear her daughter sing when we were doing a Cathy Segal-Garcia showcase at Ca' Del Sole in North Hollywood. Here we vocalists are with Cathy and the wonderful Tom Garvin on piano.

The strangest thing happened when I got up to sing...a great melancholy feeling came over me. I can't remember whether or not I was singing a particularly sad song...I doubt it, since I tend to lean toward more upbeat or hopeful romantic tunes.

In any event, it took me by surprise, and later I figured out what it was all about. How I would have loved to have had my mom there seeing me perform. There's nothing like that unconditional love and support that you get from the person who brought you into this world. Somehow, I've learned to envision my mom, who took me to all those dancing and piano lessons when I was young, and who passed away when I was 21, smiling down from heaven at any little thing I do that I know would make her proud.

By the way, Ca' Del Sole is where I learned to drink my favorite aperitif, Limoncello. Of course, I didn't try it until the gig was over! I'm going to toast this one to Millie. I'll miss her too.

Lessons from Solitaire

Do you play solitaire to pass the time, relax, enjoy the challenge, etc.? For a long time, I thought it was just a waste of time. Yes, I felt guilty if I knew I could be doing something more productive. Using it as a means of procrastination for cleaning my office was the main source of guilt. But, I started to see that there were lessons to be learned from playing solitaire.

For one, when I wasn't trying so hard to win, and just relaxing and sort of zoning out while I was playing seemed to be the times I won easily. Why is that? Is the universe telling me not to try to manipulate the outcome as much? When I let go, the results will come. But, you do have to be in the game.

There's another lesson I learned recently, and when I think of it, I'll post it! Excuse me while I go play now to remember it.

P. S. It worked...I remembered the other lesson! When playing Spider Solitaire, if I lose a game, I restart that game again and, yes, again, until I win it. Never give up! You'll eventually succeed.

Never stand on a swivel chair

Sounds like a no-brainer, doesn't it? But, it bears repeating..."Never, ever, for any reason, stand on a swivel chair. I have three chairs in my small home office. I thought it wouldn't hurt to stand on one to reach something in my closet. Well, it spun me around like a top and dumped me on the floor...but not before bumping my head on a metal filing cabinet as well as the wooden closet door...and left me dumbfounded. Dumb is the operative word here.

How could I have thought this was a good decision? The total loss-of-control terror was enough to make me learn this lesson. I was extremely lucky to have not gotten hurt worse. If this makes any one person reading this stop and think before they even consider doing this, it will be worth the time it took to write this. I have gone forth and sinned no more. Well, at least where chairs are concerned.

Yoga

So, who would have thought that taking an acting workshop would change my lifestyle in such a dramatic way (pardon the pun). I'll start at the beginning.

Several years ago, I hurt my back playing tennis, which was my stress-reliever from the corporate world. I was playing four times a week. It seems that the fact that my right leg is 3/8" shorter than the other and/or the fact that I once carried a very heavy briefcase when I was selling insurance (for a very brief period of time) could have caused my back trouble. In any event, it did threaten to ruin several annual trips to the La Jolla Beach & Tennis Club, as well as interfere with my entering tournaments at the Sunny Hills Racquet Club.

First day out, warming up, my back would go out and I was out for the count...the whole week.
The pro at LJBTC, I remember, recommended yoga, (an ancient practice from India, which unites body, mind and spirit). Instead, I made weekly treks to my chiropractor, who did help ease the pain.

Fast forward to an acting workshop with casting director, Linda Phillips-Palo, on "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron . As a requisite to taking the class, everyone had to join a yoga class.
By this time, yoga classes were springing up everywhere, so it was easy for me to join one close to home.

It was the best advice I ever took. After five years of practice now, I haven't had a single back episode that kept me out of any activity. Of course, I do my stretching morning and night, bend from the knees while lifting, and take regular walks as added precaution.

I bless Linda for insisting on this life-enhancing change. It's not only the physical aspect of yoga that I love, but it makes me feel more centered, more balanced. It rejuvenates the body and mind. And it purports to keep one young. "Stay Young with Yoga from WebMD." That always gets my attention.

Nameste (I honor the light in you.)

Smile

Remember, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera." Well, I don't like those kind of surprises, but I believe my motto is: "Never underestimate the power of a smile."

I think my face just naturally wants to smile for whatever reason; but not too long ago, after yet another clerk in a store went out of his way for me, either throwing in an extra bagel (although I try to avoid them) or a stranger out of the blue doing me a favor, I tried to analyze why people seem to be especially nice to me.

I decided it's because I usually approach people with a smile. Maybe it's all those years of my dad, Eddie Teener, a career jazz guitarist, telling me to "smile for the camera," the shutter bug that he was. Whatever the reason, I hope it's not bad luck to write about it, because I appreciate the help!

So, if you aren't prone to smiling, the next time you go into a store, try entering with a smile, and see if you don't encounter special kindness for doing so. But, if you see me walking around the lake in the morning, and you've already smiled and said, "Good morning," please don't say it again the second time around. That's annoying. On the other hand, maybe I should be more compassionate (with a smile).

Menopause the Musical

The first time I heard of Menopause the Musical was when the bass player on my demo, Vince Tividad, told me he was playing for it in L.A. a few years ago. Shortly thereafter, my good friend, Linda, saw it and said, "Cami, you should be in this!" I finally got to see it this past weekend at the Laguna Playhouse, almost seven years after its first run.

This hilarious musical deals with life after age 40, specifically targeting the 38 million baby boomer females. The leads represent four contrasting women, the Soap Star, played by Juliet Hicks;Roberta Wall as Earth Mother (I think she played Ethel Mertz at Loving Lucy 2000 and just finished the new Alan Menken musical, "Sister Act" at the Pasadena Playhouse); Iowa Housewife, Marsha Waterbury (a long resume of broadway roles, TV, commercials, etc.); and Professional Woman, Fredena J. Williams (what a voice...many recordings and notable appearances, Boston POPS among them). Oh my, what a wealth of talent! All excellent singers, dancers, and comediennes.

Jeanie Linders, the writer/producer, has done such a clever job of providing appropriate lyrics to the hits of the 60's and 70's in particular. There are too many to note here, but one of several show stoppers was Fredena tackling Tina Turner's hit, "What's Love Got to Do with It." Hysterical! The audience went wild. Oh, and Marsha Waterbury's trying on of lingerie was worth the price of admission.

Considering the fact that as many as 17 productions have been playing simultaneously around the world, from South Korea to Malaysia, Israel to Italy, perhaps one day I'll get a chance to be the "diva princess." And what a kick that would be!