Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Autobiographies

About the time I started one of my first acting classes as an adult, I happened to be rummaging through some memorabilia I had brought back to California after my dad died in Ohio many years ago. That was one of the most emotional weeks of my life, clearing out my childhood home with all the memories of years past with my brother, mom and dad. Anyway, this one particular day, I came upon a letter (one of the few my mom had kept for me) from Miss Parsons, my fourth grade teacher, at the end of the year. It stated that my reading was mostly biographical. I was amazed to learn (remember?) that way back then I still preferred bios to fiction.
She also mentioned that I "excelled in acting." Isn't that nice to know.

Some of my favorite books (particularly autobiographies) up to now that you may want to check out if you haven't already are:

Desi Arnaz - A Book - This was such an interesting story in that Desi goes into detail about some of the groundbreaking techniques they were able to discover in filming the "I Love Lucy" TV series. Many are used to this day. I read it a long time ago, but it has stuck with me. And of course any thing you can learn about Lucille Ball is a fascinating read.

Ingrid Bergman - My Story - I particularly like to hear the facts (as the actress tells it) about her life, rather than just rely on all the press reports that were written, particularly about the scandal back then when she became pregnant by her director lover, Roberto Rosselini, while still being married to another. They eventually married, but in that day and time, they withstood much gossip. You realize how much times have changed. Today, if that happens, the stars only make more money, get offered more projects, etc. She led such an interesting life, and her movies stood the test of time. Casablanca is a favorite for sure.

Elia Kazan - A Life - Cameron, my acting coach at the time, recommended this epitome (anything over 800 pages!) Kazan (or Gadg as he is called by friends) is brutally honest about his personal life, his flaws, his affairs (of which there were many...including Marilyn Monroe). I'm not much for seeing movies over again or rereading books, but this is one for which I might make an exception someday. As an actor, I was interested in the on and off set stories of the other actors, how he directed certain movies and actors, such as Marlon Brando whom he cast in the broadway production of Streetcar Named Desire. "The best and most human parts of you are those that you have inhibited and hidden from the world," Elia writes. Cameron used to say something similar..."What you try to hide from us is what makes you interesting to us." This one is worth reading from a history standpoint as well.

Quincy Jones - Q, The Autobiography of Quincy Jones - I've always been fascinated by Quincy Jones.
Being a singer, every time I saw a show, an artist, a project that I felt was outstanding, it had Quincy Jones' print on it. He either wrote it, produced it, directed it, or all three. There are too many superstars to even begin to name the ones he has walked beside in five decades of the entertainment business. He's an inspiration for his vision and accomplishments, considering he came from a poor family, and had a mother who "descented into madness." Quincy has had many triumphs, and it's nice to know among his honors is the selection as a 2001 Kennedy Center Honoree for his lifetime contribution to American culture through the performing arts. You learn much about the "business of show."

dream lovers - The magnificent shattered lives of Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee by their son, Dodd Darin.
I thought Kevin Spacey did a magnificent (if I may use the word again) job of portraying Bobby Darin in the movie of the same name. The thing I find most interesting when I think of Bobby Darin, is I always heard, "Mack the Knife," or "Splish, Splash, I was taking a bath," over and over again and yet, those are only two of the vast recorded songs that Bobby put out in his short 36 years. It's funny but for a long time, every time I heard a guy singing on one of the few "standards from the Great American Songbook radio stations," I would wonder who that good singer was, not realizing it was Bobby. He had such a sense of swing and his phrasing was excellent, right up there with Sinatra, dare I say. I was always disappointed Bobby and Sandra didn't stay married. I think that was a tragedy, since she never really found happiness again, it seems, at least from the stories that are told in this interesting book. What came through for me is that the love that these two parents had for their son is a wonderful legacy for both of them beyond their achievements in their respective successful careers.

Out of all these biographies, one thing stands out... the fact that these people led fulfilling lives, made mistakes along the way and learned from them. How grateful we can be that they help teach us life lessons by sharing their journeys.

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves, they have the first secret of success. Norman Vincent Peale





Sunday, December 21, 2008

Friendship


When I go away, it's nice to have a book to read, so it was with perfect timing when my cousin, Sandy, gave me "Getting Along Famously, A Celebration of Friendship" as an early Christmas gift just as we were leaving for Palm Springs. As it turned out, I had lots of time to read since P.S. had the worst storm they've had in 70 years!

This interesting book by Melissa Hellstern, author of "How to Be Lovely - The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life," told of many great friendships by famous women, such as Coco Chanel & Misia Sert; Julie Andrews & Carol Burnett; Audrey Hepburn & Sophia Loren, and Lauren Bacall & Katherine Hepburn. Much research went into telling these stories. It made me reflect on the wonderful friendships I've had in my lifetime up to now.

My neighbor, Lin, as it turns out, was indeed one of my best friends as I look back. Lin, who never smoked a day in her life, and had the most healthy lifestyle of anyone I know, died of lung cancer. Before we took our walks in the morning, she beckoned me to breakfast at her home. Creamy oatmeal, made with real cream and a robust cup of coffee with cream, just the way I like it. That was only one of the ways Lin spoiled me. If she knew we were entertaining, she would bring over orchids from her garden that day. She had a green thumb like no one I had known before. When I hosted a sales meeting at my home, she offered, no, insisted, she come over and cook for my sales group, consisting of 10 people. Lin made the best chicken stir fry I've ever had. She did her Chinese ancestry proud.

Once when we came back from a two-week trip, for which she always volunteered to take care of our mail and newspapers, I noticed our lawn looked exceptionally good. I said, "Lin, did you see anyone lingering around our home?" She looked at me aghast, as if I would think she hadn't guarded our property well enough.
I said, "There seems to have been a fairy gardener. Everything looks so trimmed and neat." She smiled sheepishly. I knew it was another one of her thoughtful deeds.

It was a sad day, but I was touched that her husband, Ed, wanted me to deliver the eulogy at her service. How lucky I was that this wonderful woman became my neighbor and dear friend by chance. Once when Ed was coming over for dinner recently, I instinctively set out four glasses for cocktails. I started to correct myself, but knew Ed would appreciate the fact that I still feel Lin's spirit with us to this day, seven years later.

The book is filled with wonderful quotes, "What do we live for if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" George Eliot

"The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money." Mark Twain